Have you ever received a compliment that was so lovely you couldn’t stop smiling? My 3.5 year old has recently been in a compliment-giving mood, and it’s the sweetest thing. “Mummy, I like your hair”, “Mummy, you’re so pretty”, “Mummy, I like your dress”. And every time, it never fails to make me smile, even when I’m cross with him. But you know what makes them even sweeter? They are genuine, and there is no apparent reason for him to give me these compliments (I mean you should see the state of my hair sometimes when he says “I like your hair mummy”… even a bird’s nest would win a beauty competition against it). Plus, he is not giving me these compliments because he wants something (In his wonderful innocence, he has not yet learnt to do that). In contrast, I remember when I was growing up, there were times when my younger brother would become really sweet, I just knew he was buttering me up and a request was on the way. So once he started with “darling” and “fine girl” and all the other sugary terms, I would just respond with, “Mmmhmm, so what do you want?”

These experiences have made me think of some sermons I have heard over the years, where people have been encouraged to praise God because (or so that) He would bless them in turn, with tag lines such as “when the praises go up, the blessings come down”, “praises provoke the Heavens”, and even “stop praying and start praising”. Apparently with the latter, the thinking is that God is more inclined to give you what you want if you praise Him instead of just asking Him for what you want?

In the light of these experiences, I began to wonder, why should we be cajoled to praise God because if we do so, a big blessing awaits? Whether or not this is the case, does it not sound a tad manipulative? Beyond that, I’m not sure these kinds of statements are based on scripture. Yes, there were specific times people praised God and ended up victorious. 2 Chronicles 20:15-30 narrates one such incident. It is important to note though that the underlying reason for the victory is also found in that very passage. Verse 20 (NLT) says, “On the way Jehoshaphat stopped and said, “Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed.” It was their faith in God that was the reason behind that victory. Their praising God was a natural expression of that faith.

Another instance is found in Acts 16:16-40, the story of Paul and Silas. Again, there is no evidence to say they praised God because they were expecting a deliverance. In fact, in a similar previous incident, we read the reason for their praise: “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonour for the name.” (Acts 5:41, ESV). Moreover, given that they did not escape immediately the prison door’s flew open and their chains were loosened, they might have even been surprised by the earthquake rescue (Acts 16:26-28).

The truth is, God does not need to be ‘buttered up’. He sees our hearts. He knows us even more than we know ourselves. And He loves us, unconditionally and extravagantly, even when our motives are not quite right.

Ultimately, we should praise God because HE IS GOD, holy, amazing, magnificent, awesome, good, just, loving, faithful… I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the point. Our motivation for praising or thanking God should NOT be because we are going to get something from doing it. When you think about it, doesn’t that feel slightly dishonest? If my son compliments me because he wants something from me, if I’m honest, I’m not quite sure that compliment will mean as much to me.  Think about it, if you are a parent, how would it sound to you if your child was told to praise you (or compliment you) to get what they want? It’s like someone telling your child “Tell daddy he’s a good daddy. If you do, he’ll give you a chocolate bar”. Imagine you overheard that, and then shortly after, your child came to tell you, “Daddy, you’re a good daddy”. Or “Mummy, you are so wonderful, so special, and I know that even as I praise you now, you will give me that new pair of shoes I’ve been eyeing”. How would you feel? Whether or not the compliment was genuine or that statement is true, would it not just feel like insincere flattery to you? Now, does your “praise” ever sound like that?

Mind you, this does not mean, if it were me, that I won’t give my child what he asks for (if it is within my power to do so, and if it is good for him). It also does not mean I will love him any less. It just means that that praise will carry less meaning for me. Plus personally, I would prefer that my kids just politely ask me for what they want. There is no need to flatter me first. They can flatter me some other time if they so desire.

Praising God should have no strings attached. We can’t manipulate God, He knows our hearts. The truth is praising God from now till next year may not give you what you want any faster, if your heart is not right with Him, unless what you want is a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. God will still do what He wants on His own timing. He does not set his clock to our time. Neither is such praise a guarantee of more physical blessings. Praise should be an expression of love, an acknowledgement of who God is, a beautiful feature of our relationship with God, unsullied by manipulative tendencies. It should come straight from the heart, going directly to the Heavens, not stopping along the way to pick up our material wants and desires as attached conditions.

I learnt a very important lesson from a friend recently, one that has stuck with me ever since. She said we tend to view God’s goodness through our personal circumstances. So when good things happen to us, we praise God and sing of his goodness, but we find it hard to do the same when we are in the midst of challenging circumstances. But the thing is, even when that good thing was happening to you, there was someone who was losing their spouse in an accident, or their child from an illness, or experiencing the horror of a bomb going off in their vicinity, killing dozens of people. And it’s still the same God who was in charge at the time. So if it was okay to praise Him and sing of His goodness when someone’s family and home was being bombed, then why can’t we do it even when we face challenging times? He is still the same God, isn’t He? He is not solely our personal God, He is the God of ALL creation.

As such, I am learning to remove that limitation of praising God for his goodness when good things happen to me or those around me, or because I expect good things. I am learning instead to praise him irrespective of what is happening around me because I know He is good and He loves us. Furthermore, I can trust Him with the big picture, because while the statement “more than meets the eye” may hold true for us in a lot of situations, it never holds true for God. There is simply never more than meets His eye. And when we start thinking like this, then like Habakkuk, we can also say:

“Though the cherry trees don’t blossom
    and the strawberries don’t ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
    and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
    and the cattle barns empty,
I’m singing joyful praise to God.
    I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Saviour God”!

(Habakkuk 3: 17-19 (MSG))