For some time now, my three year old has become quite keen on “helping” me in the kitchen. I allow him do things such as rinsing dishes, putting spices and chopped up vegetables in food when I am cooking, as well as other little things which I feel he can do. However, the other day I was chopping some carrots, and he asked me for the knife (which I must point out was very sharp), because he wanted to chop the carrots with me. Now, as good as his intentions were, I simply did not think it was a good idea to give him the knife. Did he ask politely? Yes. Would it have made a difference if he said please a thousand times and even knelt down, with tears in his eyes, his voice breaking with emotion, pleading with me? Not really. Does that mean I don’t love him? No, in fact, quite the opposite actually. It is because I love him so much that I did not give him the knife. Does that mean I’m cruel? I hope not! Is a knife a bad object? Not necessarily. I can’t imagine doing without a knife in the kitchen, it is a super helpful tool when cooking! So, why did I not want to give the knife to my son, seeing as he asked nicely, he wanted to use it for a good thing – to help me in the kitchen (and who doesn’t love a bit of help now and then), and it is a useful thing to have around?

Because, in summary, he is not ready to use one yet.  And even a useful object in the hands of such a person can cause pain and hurt. In a couple of years’ time though, when he is much older, if I am still lucky and he is still eager to help me in the kitchen (Dear God, please let this be the case, amen :-)), then I would gladly hand it over to him and sit down and relax while he does all the cooking. Wouldn’t that be just grand? I can picture myself lounging on the sofa, engrossed in an interesting novel, nibbling on some snacks, and waiting to be called for dinner. But, let’s gently float down back to reality…

I learnt something from this incident about God’s response to our requests. It is not always about the way we ask, or our “level of faith”, or our intentions, or the goodness or usefulness of the thing we are asking for. It is just simply this: God can see the much bigger picture, and He knows what is best for us, and sometimes, He knows we are just not ready for what we are asking for, or even that it is not ideal for us at all!

The interesting thing to note is that my son did not think he was not ready to use a knife. In fact, he probably thought he was, and that was why he kept asking me for it, even though I had already said no. And that’s the way it is with us sometimes. But, as his parent, I knew that in this case he was not ready.

Philippians 4: 6 is one of the most commonly quoted verses about prayer and tendering our requests before God. But sometimes, we tend to forget the verse that follows immediately after, verse 7.

“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV)‎

Isn’t it interesting that the Bible doesn’t say ‘and all thy requests will be granted thee?’ Rather, it says God will grant you His peace, or as The Message translation puts verse 7, “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.”

God knows each of us even better than we know ourselves. It is possible that two people may pray for the same thing, at the same time, maybe even together, yet only one gets it, and the other does not. That does not mean he loves one person more than the other, or that one person is better. It is because He knows the perfect time for each person.

I sometimes see blanket prophetic statements shared on social media, usually taking this format: “Everybody reading this who wants to have a child or spouse or car or house (or whatever really) will have it by the end of this year. Just say amen and have faith.” My reaction is usually ‘really?’ Especially when such things are shared to a large group of people rather than given as specific words of knowledge from God. Now it may happen that some people will receive their requests ‘by the end of the year’, but there will also be many who did not get what they asked for according to that schedule. And no, it is not always because they did not have enough faith. It may just not have been the best time for them to obtain that request.

Abraham is listed among the heroes of faith, and yet look how long he stayed without having a child. It must have been so hard, waiting for so long, hoping, trusting, dealing with disappointment each time it didn’t happen. Unfortunately his attempt to take matters into His hands to hasten God’s promise, and the long-term consequences that followed this attempt, is a story we shouldn’t forget in a hurry (Genesis 16, 17, 21). Sometimes we despair of waiting too, don’t we? One lesson to remember here is that God always, always fulfils his promises, and he knows the right time to bring such promises to pass. Zechariah and Elizabeth had to wait a long time before their son, John the Baptist, was born. But there was a reason. John was to be the forerunner of the Messiah, therefore he needed to be born at a specific time (Luke 1). God has a perfect, beautiful time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

The important thing in all this therefore is to trust God, to understand that he loves us, and knows and wants what is best for us, and that this may not always be what we think is best for us. I want my kids to trust me, because I honestly have their best interests at heart, and it is a lovely thing when they accept my explanations about why they can’t have something without whining “why, why, why”. And the truth is, while I do my best to explain why, sometimes, I may find it hard to give an explanation that they will understand, probably because they are too young or don’t have a full understanding of how things work, so I just say “no”. The same applies with prayer. Sometimes, because we don’t understand everything at the time, God just says no, or wait. However, even if my kids ask why a million times, I would not love them any less (I may want to scream though!).

When we trust God (and I am learning to do that more and more), He will bless us with His peace. It can be hard sometimes, I’ll have to admit that, and sometimes I struggle with this myself. Because I’m thinking, “Dear God it would really be nice if you could give this to me now, pretty please, because you know, waiting is hard and all, and I would really like it as soon as possible please.”

But, when I remember how things have worked out perfectly in the past, and I remember that God is good and that He loves me, then I get a sense of peace, that beautiful perfect peace from God that even getting what I want immediately cannot give me.

As a side note, speaking of God’s perfect timing, I have a little testimony to share. I forgot my umbrella in church a couple of weeks ago. I kept telling myself “Oh, next Sunday, you can pick it up”, but then, every Sunday I would forget. When I remember on the way home or when I had already gotten home, I would go “Arghhhh, not again!” and feel like kicking myself. Even when I went for my home group meeting during the week, I would forget every single time. This went on for weeks. And I’m usually very good at remembering stuff! Oh well, umbrellas are a different ballgame. Anyway, we had a Women’s Conference in church yesterday, and I went with my little son strapped to me in his baby carrier. As it was sunny when we left home, and it was supposed to be a nice day, I didn’t take an umbrella. But then, wouldn’t you know, the weather does have a thing for surprise parties (or showers?), and it started to rain just as the conference was ending. And I had planned to walk home as it wasn’t too far away. So, I stood at the door looking outside thinking, “uh oh, what am I going to do?” I would have braved the rain and made a dash for it if it had been just me, but because I had my son with me, I didn’t want him to get wet, so I just stood there, staring at the rain that did not seem to have stopping in its immediate to-do list. And then it hit me, “What about the umbrella you forgot weeks ago?!” I quickly went back in, and sure enough, it was still where it should have been! And voila, I had an umbrella to go home with! Isn’t God amazing? The funny thing is, every time I had gone to church during those weeks I kept forgetting, I had always gone with a pushchair, and so even if I had remembered, it would have been quite awkward to push the pushchair and carry the umbrella. The conference was the first time I had gone without the pushchair, so it was the ideal day to remember to bring it home! Did I hear you say “perfect timing”! (Okay maybe I didn’t hear you, my spy microphone in your house isn’t working at the moment :-)). Still, God IS a perfect planner and His timing is impeccable, and ever so often, little things like this remind me of that wonderful fact!