While in a beautiful garden recently, I observed a gardener on their knees, weeding the garden with their bare hands. Some of the weeds had grown through cracks in the concrete, others were growing at the edges of the paved sidewalk. As I watched, the person beside me commented on how tough the roots of some of these weeds can be, and how challenging the job of weeding is.

I continued to watch the gardener, and as I did, I thought more about characteristics of weeds. Some weeds seem to have tough roots and the ability to grow very fast. They can even grow through cracks in cement! On the other hand, plants that we actually want seem to require more nurturing – careful watering, trimming, etc to grow. Not only that, they may take longer to grow, or at least it appears that way sometimes. This meme I came across online a while ago captures this paradox quite well:

As I reflected on this contrast between weeds and wanted plants, a parallel came to mind, one of heaviness and joy, with heaviness being this feeling that crops up despite not being wanted or planted, and joy being the wanted plant that needs careful nurturing. Weeds can really be like the feeling of heaviness, popping up unwanted, even managing to make their way through the ‘cement’, the guards you have in place to protect your joy.

Have you experienced periods of heaviness? Times when you feel so sad, as if an oppressive weighted blanket of sadness has been placed on you which you just can’t seem to cast off? Heaviness is truly an apt name for the feeling, because it can almost feel as if that heavy weight is depressing or pressing you down further into a pit of despair. In such times, you may read verses like “rejoice always”(1 Thessalonians 5:16), or “Count it all joy…” (James 1:2), and find that they don’t quite register, almost as if they are a foreign language which you can’t comprehend, not to talk of obeying.

Joy, on the other hand, can be like the plant that we want, and it can sometimes seem so fragile, so easy to lose. We can have five good things and one bad thing happen in one day, and that one bad thing can end up clouding our entire day. As someone once said, “was it a bad day, or a bad five minutes that you milked all day?” Someone can do so many kind things for us, but the day they do something they shouldn’t, we develop selective amnesia for the good, and zone in on that one thing, losing our joy and possibly fracturing a relationship in the process.

Why does joy seem so fragile? I’m not entirely sure, perhaps it is one of the manifestations of living in a fallen world? What it does mean though is that joy requires intentionality to keep it blossoming. It requires continuous nurturing, much like a plant seed requires planting, watering, pruning to grow and blossom. There are some plants that will not appear in our gardens unless we actually take the time to plant them. Unlike weeds, they won’t just spontaneously show up. Yes, sometimes things may happen serendipitously that may make us happy, as in the case of some weeds that are actually quite pretty and may even make our garden look nice. However, their time with us, and the effect they have, will likely be fleeting. Moreover, we can’t always rely on life’s wind to blow their seeds into our gardens. This is where joy is different from fleeting periods of happiness. Joy is not dependent on circumstances. It is not reliant on a fair wind or swayed by storms. It is a lifestyle choice. As the hymnwriter notes, “this joy that I have, the world didn’t give it, the world can’t take it away.”

Joy’s fragility however does mean that it has to be very carefully guarded. Furthermore, because it may not always manifest spontaneously, we have to be intentional about nurturing it. This is why I love this definition of joy by Kay Warren: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.” The point about joy being a determined choice is significant. From the verses outlined earlier, we know that the Bible requires us to be joyful, because that is a key way to demonstrate our trust in God and His ways. This means that it is something we can choose to do, just as we can choose to do the other things that are God’s will for us to do, as outlined in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV), “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

As with all things obedience leads to blessings. So it is therefore that working to maintaining a joyful countenance as a standard can unexpectedly bless us, even during the unusual moments when it is a real struggle to keep that countenance and sadness finds its way to our face. In Nehemiah 2:1-4 (NLT), Nehemiah narrates, “Early the following spring, in the month of Nisan, during the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes’ reign, I was serving the king his wine. I had never before appeared sad in his presence. So the king asked me, “Why are you looking so sad? You don’t look sick to me. You must be deeply troubled.” Then I was terrified, but I replied, “Long live the king! How can I not be sad? For the city where my ancestors are buried is in ruins, and the gates have been destroyed by fire.” The king asked, “Well, how can I help you?””

As I read this, it occurred to me that for the king himself to notice, it must have been quite unusual for Nehemiah to be sad. Do you know people like that? People that radiate such joy, it actually looks strangely odd when they aren’t smiling, so much so that you want to do what you can to put that smile back on their face. This was what happened here. The king did not just stop at noticing, he went further to offer and give much-needed help to Nehemiah.

Would that have happened if Nehemiah’s countenance was regularly sad, or perhaps even neutral? Possibly not. It is worth bearing in mind that Nehemiah’s life probably wasn’t ideal. Afterall, he was in captivity in Persia. However, his cheerful countenance, and prayer, paved the way for him to receive considerable favour from the king.

Sadly there are times when, despite our best intentions, it feels like our joy has been stolen and heaviness has muscled its way through our guards. In such times, we may want to be joyful, but find that our hearts and bodies aren’t quite cooperating to do what we want. Like Nehemiah, situations may weigh us down so much that we can’t even muster the effort to put on a cheerful countenance. What do we do in such situations, and how do we deal with them?

The first step is to recognise and acknowledge what is happening. Pretending that all is well can only go so far. This recognition and acknowledgement allows us to deal with it promptly, so that it does not become our status quo. This is important because when weeds are not dealt with quickly, they spread, and that can make it even harder to get rid of them eventually.

Having acknowledged it, we fight it. We battle against heaviness to protect our precious joy, just as one would fight off a pickpocket who wanted to steal their property. We can fight against heaviness by spending time with God in prayer. Psalm 16:11 (ESV) says, “You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” It is during times of prayer that we can receive encouragement from God through His word, and wisdom and discernment to know how to handle whatever situation is causing the heaviness. Worship and praise are very important, as not only do worship and praise turn the focus from us to God, they serve to remind us of just how great and good and loving God is. Meditating on the Word of God can also help us counter the enemy’s lies about ourselves with God’s truth. Even if the heaviness is caused by something we have done, Hebrews 4:16 (NLT) invites us to “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

In some cases, it might not even be a particular situation that we can pinpoint to. However, God is all-knowing, and that is why He is the best person to turn to. We can also reach out to people we trust, including believers in our church family. Self-care is important during such times, and should not be neglected. Some people recommend exercise, taking walks, listening to uplifting music. Each of these may feel like it is small or perhaps only has a temporary effect, but together the effect can be cumulative, each one like a punch that will eventually weaken that feeling of heaviness. I personally also try to remind myself that ‘this too shall pass’. As I do so, I try to bring to mind all the other things that “came to pass” (even though at certain points it may have felt like they ‘came to stay’!), and to recall God’s faithfulness through it all.

When things are really bad, we may not actually feel like doing any of this at all – even praying and worshipping God. It may feel like our words are hollow, like our hearts are not in it, or like there is no point. But, as I once heard, it is when we don’t feel like praying that we need to pray even more. What helps me sometimes, when I don’t even feel like uttering any words, is listening to others praying, for instance watching videos of prayer meetings or prayer sessions. Even if I don’t feel like joining in, I try to at least listen. If I don’t feel like singing, again, I just play the worship songs and listen to them.

Doing so is akin to taking the first step to push out the heaviness. It may seem like a feeble effort, but with time, and more importantly with God’s help and strength, we will prevail, if we persistently keep pushing through. This is because while our feelings may sometimes influence our actions, our actions can also influence our feelings. It may help to think of the joy that is waiting for us on the other side. This was what motivated Jesus, the joy awaiting Him on the other side. As Hebrews 12:2 states, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2, BSB). It’s a bit like being willing to endure the stress of travelling – the packing, airport queues and all the other faff of travelling because of the wonderful holiday that awaits us on the other side.

Sometimes, we may feel guilt at our lack of joy, especially if it seems like we have such a great life and should be perpetually thankful and happy. This feeling may even prevent us from reaching out to others to seek help. Sadly, keeping such feelings hidden may cause them to fester. While our feelings may be valid, a scripture that I find helpful is 1 John 3:20 (ESV), “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything.” Isaiah 61:3 (KJV) is an encouraging reminder that Jesus came to give us beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. This verse also highlights an important principle of replacing one emotion with another. This means it’s not just about not being sad, it’s about making a conscious choice to be joyful instead, as opposed to merely being neutral.

Remember that in this life, we will have tribulations. Jesus told us so in John 16:33. We will have challenges and times of suffering that will fight so hard to steal our joy. But in that same John 16:33 (KJV), Jesus tells us, “… but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Incidentally, there is a way to suffer that pleases God. 1 Peter 4:19 (NLT) states, “So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you.” What is this manner? Trusting God, not complaining or murmuring, continuing to obey God.

It is worth pointing out that there can be instances where the weeds of heaviness have strong, deep, roots that need to be dealt with. Amanda Palmer notes that “if you don’t deal with your demons, they go down into the cellar of your soul and lift weights.” Again, reaching out and seeking help is vital, because we really do not want the spirit of heaviness lifting weights in our souls, feeding on our joy, and sucking the life out of us, getting even heavier and stronger in the process. Sometimes, trying to use our bare hands or working solo to pull out such roots just won’t do, we may need the help of another.

Ultimately, a day will come when we will no longer have to battle against any spirit or feeling of heaviness, a day when joy will be the natural order of things. Revelations 21:3-4 (NLT) states, “I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” What a truly glorious day that will be!

Until then, I pray that we will guard our joy fiercely and intentionally, fragile as it can be sometimes. If we are in seasons where it feels like that joy is slipping through our fingers or is being snatched from us, I pray that God will give us the strength and grace to hold on tightly to this joy that God gives us, and to weed out any roots of heaviness in our lives. May He bring people to our lives that will help us lift and cast away blankets of heaviness when we cannot seem to lift them ourselves. May we continue to dwell steadfastly in His presence, even when the spirit of heaviness threatens to push us out, knowing that in His presence, there is grace, mercy and an overwhelming abundance of joy!

Image source here.