The familiar…

What does it feel like to you? Comfort? Certainty? A sense of knowing? Surety?

How important is the familiar? Some of us will gladly embrace change, but for others, it is more of a struggle to leave the comfort of the familiar. To use a relatively minor illustration, one person may be happy to have a new pair of slippers or shoes, and another would rather wear their old pair until the soles are as flat as paper, because the slippers fit the contours of their feet just right. The thought of having to break in a new pair, and possibly have to deal with a few days of uncomfortable rubbing, when the old ones are still there, soft in just the right spots…no, just no. Until it’s absolutely necessary.

We may also exhibit a preference for each one at various seasons or times of life, or depending on our circumstances. There are times when we may feel weary of the old, and pumped, excited, ready for something new. However, there are times when the thought of taking even one small step out of our comfort zone is a bit too nerve-wracking to contemplate.

I recently read a study on the impact of the recent pandemic on entertainment, and it was observed that “during a time of unrest, it is common for consumers to turn to what is familiar to seek comfort”, and that more than half of consumers, across TV and music, seek “comfort in familiar, nostalgic content”. People re-watch old movies, series, read novels they’ve already read, because unlike the world around us which is so full of uncertainty, they know exactly how these movies, series, books etc will end, and there is a certain comfort in that.

Oddly enough, even when the familiar is not ideal, when it’s bad even, it can still be hard to leave. Some of us may be living in areas we don’t particularly like or where we live in fear, working in jobs that frustrate or bore us, in relationships that are full of sadness or maybe even abusive, and yet it can be so hard to leave. Sometimes this may be due to practical reasons, but sometimes, it is simply the familiarity, the known, and it can feel much more solid and realistic than the unknown. Popular sayings such as “Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t”, and “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” illustrate this. The familiar, terrible as it may possibly be in some cases, still feels like solid ground under our feet. The unfamiliar, on the other hand, can be like walking across a simple suspension/rope bridge… the view may be breath-taking, but the thought of leaving the solid ground to walk on a wobbly bridge can be so terrifying, the anxiety can literally take our breath away.

Recent events have led me to reflect on this, and how I define my familiar, and more importantly, how I should define my familiar. The truth is that the world we live in is uncertain, and even the places and things we view as familiar may end up being pulled out from underneath our feet. The safe and certain job can be lost due to redundancy or multiple other reasons. Humans can disappoint us, despite the best intentions. Life has a way of throwing curve-balls at us. Even our trusty comfy slippers wear out eventually.

But if God is my familiar, my safe place, then it’s a whole different ballgame. If I am abiding in Him, then I am always abiding in a safe, familiar zone. It doesn’t matter what is going on around me, I am still in my comfort zone. In a sense, it’s like being and living in an indestructible campervan – bullet proof, bomb proof, fire proof, water proof. I can be in the middle of a war zone and still be safe and dwelling in the familiar. Or I can be in the idyllic countryside, and be just as safe. Because it’s not about the circumstances or the location, it’s about what I’m in. Would I prefer to be in the idyllic countryside rather than the war zone? Of course. But while my desires may be important, His will is far more important, and so long as He is in me, and I am in Him, then I am content.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” – Psalm 46:1 (KJV). Psalm 32:7 (NLT) says “For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.” Psalm 91:2 says “This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety, my fortress; he is my God, and I trust him”. The entire Psalm 91 is just so beautiful and reassuring, but I will highlight a few verses here:

“For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armour and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday” (vs 3 – 6, NLT). “If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you, no plague will come near your home.” (vs 9 – 10, NLT).

It’s interesting how God’s protection is described as both feathers, and a fortress. His love and protection completely wrap us like a blanket that is both soft enough to be cosy and homely, but strong enough to keep us safe from fiery darts and storms.

The Bible makes it quite clear that evil will happen, disaster will strike, diseases will stalk in darkness. But what is interesting is that it says do not be afraid of them, do not dread them. We may experience evil, but it will not conquer us. But, there is an “if” there. We need to make God our refuge. We need to be in Him.

“If ye abide in me, and My words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you” (John 15:7, KJV). The Contemporary English Version says “Stay joined to me and let my teachings become part of you. Then you can pray for whatever you want, and your prayer will be answered.” Again, there is that clause – Abide in me, live in me, remain in me, make me your refuge, stay joined to me.

We should be so entwined with and joined to God, that trying to separate us from God should be more difficult than a surgeon trying to separate conjoined twins who are connected at the heart or brain. And studies show that “survival of twins connected at the heart is extremely rare”, and “the decision is often made to not do separation surgery in cases where there is a connection at the heart.” It is possible, but the risk is so great, it’s usually best not to.

Speaking of staying joined, I remember the time when I was crazy enough to jump out of a perfectly functional airplane in mid-flight, which is what happens when you decide to go sky-diving! It was something I had always fancied doing, plus it was for a good cause, so I thought, why not? I was initially excited about it, but as the time drew nearer, I began to wonder what in God’s green earth I was thinking when I signed up for it (Even in the midst of crazy escapades, I do have moments of lucidity, you know). Anyway, on the day, it was getting a bit windy, and we had to wait, as there are certain conditions that have to be met, such as the weather, and these are completely out of our control. Thankfully, it was fine, and we got going. We had been split up into groups, and the first set of people went. Their dive went according to plan, and the feedback from some of the people I spoke with was that it was an amazing experience. By this time, I was getting quite excited, maybe a little impatient. Eventually it was our turn. My group got into the aircraft, it took off, got to a certain height, and finally it was time. Aaaand, I began to have second thoughts. Looking down from the skies, the thought of leaving the safe, comfortable aircraft to jump into the unknown… I was very tempted to call it off. However, and this is the very important bit… it was a tandem skydive… I was very firmly strapped to my instructor, so when he was ready to jump, I was ‘body bound’ to jump as well! Which was just as well, because I may have possibly chickened out there and then.

When you jump, the first phase immediately after your feet are no longer touching aircraft is the free fall… this is the adrenaline stage. It’s like being on the tallest drop tower you can think of, in an amusement park. The wind is right in your face, and there is exhilarating rush. You want to scream, or you do scream – internally or even externally. And even though it feels longer, it is only for a couple of seconds, and then it’s time for the parachute to open. Then, there is a switch from adrenalining to relaxing. You feel like you are floating, like a bird on a leisurely flight. You feel more like a leaf falling gently to the ground, unlike in the free fall stage where you feel like  a leaf being sucked down into a leaf blower. This is where you can actually enjoy the far reaching views, and it is the most peaceful stage. The weather conditions are the same, but the experience is completely different. It is also much longer than the free fall stage.

In all this though, I was firmly strapped to my instructor. And as long as I stayed strapped to him, and the straps did not give way (I shudder at the thought!), I was safe. He was experienced, and had done lots of sky dives, whereas it was my first one. As such, I trusted him, and let him be in charge. I may have left the safety of the aircraft, but I was not on my own.

When we abide in God, we are not on our own. We are still with, and in our familiar. Even when our surroundings are scary and unfamiliar, we are still joined with Him. He is in charge, and He knows what He is doing. As such, the best we can do is to stay strapped and keep trusting and obeying.

How then can we stay strapped? How can we abide in God? We probably already know this, but prayer, reading, meditating, and putting His word into practice are key. We should ‘pray until we want to pray’. Listening to and singing along with the right kind of worship music can also change our perspective or light a fire in us.  Just like in the case of the sky dive, we can listen to the testimony of others who have gone before us and be encouraged. God and His word* should be our raison d’etre, our source of wisdom, our source of direction, our first port of call. His word should flow in our veins like our blood. As this amusing quote says “I want to be so full of Christ that if a mosquito bites me, it flies away singing, ‘there is power in the blood!”.

When we dwell on God’s creation, what He’s done, and more importantly, who He is, we can’t help but be amazed. Louis Pasteur said “the more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator.” Psalm 66:5 – 6 (MSG) says “Take a good look at God’s wonders – they’ll take your breath away”. “Who is like you among the gods, O LORD— glorious in holiness, awesome in splendour, performing great wonders?” – Exodus 15:11 (NLT). Psalm 36: 5-6 says “God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness, nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.” Imagine living in such a dwelling! God is God, and He does not change, but sometimes it is our perspective of Him that needs to change. As A.W. Tozer said “if we take away any of the attributes of God, we do not weaken God, but we weaken our concept of God.”

I took the picture above recently… it’s a picture of a bee sucking on nectar, but also wrapped up by the petals of the flower. It was raining, but the bee was protected from the rain. I feel it captures my thoughts in a sense. Like the bee, I want to be feeding on God, and wrapped up in Him, but wholly wrapped up, not just partially. That way He is in me, and I am in Him. And no matter what is raining down around me, I am safe.

Being the human that I am, I don’t always get this right – I sometimes step out of my “God dwelling” in my actions and thoughts. But what I have learnt from my experiences is that when I step out of God’s word and listen to the world, I can go into a worry or thinking overdrive. The scenario planning that can go on in my head sometimes will put the most advanced software to shame. I can see all the things that have gone wrong, that are going wrong, that will go wrong, that may go wrong, the things that have not even thought of going wrong, but just in case they do, better to be prepared, no? BUT, when I focus on God’s word, I am at peace. The circumstances in my life may not necessarily have changed, but I trust God because He knows exactly what He is doing. Trusting in God is similar to the peaceful parachute stage, whereas when I worry, I feel like I’m in a free fall. Same sky, same weather conditions, different experience. As Barbara Cameron said “Worrying is arrogant because God knows what He’s doing.” Besides, I am barely even in control of anything, so what is the point! (Please kindly remind me of this if you hear me worrying, thank you 😊). And even if whatever happens results in death, as Paul said “for to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” – Philippians 1:21 (NLT). As long as I am abiding in God, I can say, “it is well”. The best part of dwelling in God is that nothing, absolutely nothing can pull us out of that dwelling, except we choose to leave. Circumstances may try to pull us out, but they cannot, unless we choose to let them. What or who else can we have such a confident assurance in? Who else can we trust in, or where else can we dwell in and have that absolute guarantee of safety and security, in life and even in death? No one and no where!

My prayer for us today is that God’s voice will drown out all the other voices around us, rather than the other way around. May we make God our familiar, so that irrespective of whether we are in a war zone or by a peaceful countryside, whether we are relaxing by a gorgeous beach, or trapped in a storm, we know that we are truly safe and cocooned in Him. And, from the safety and security of this cocoon, may we have the confidence to carry out exploits in His name!

* As John 1:1 says, God is His word, so I may use these terms interchangeably.