Four years ago, on the 19th of June 2016, I published my very first blog post, “The giant”. It feels like a long time ago, but it also feels like yesterday. When I started my blog, I planned to publish posts weekly. At some point though, I realised that I may have been a little bit ambitious with that plan. I figured once a month would be more reasonable. However today, I am publishing my 23rd post! I know, the maths doesn’t add up. So what happened? Life did.

A lot happened in the last three years – opportunities, challenges, you name it. Sadly, writing was relegated to the background, or more accurately, it was relegated to the space behind the back of the background. I almost forgot I even had a blog. I didn’t write or publish anything on my blog for almost three years. It felt like a sad but certain end to my fledgling “blogging career”.

But, this year, during lockdown, my blog pulled a Lazarus and rose from the dead! Only it took about three years* instead of three days. Still, three is three right :-)? I decided to brush away the thick layer of dust from my blog and start writing again. Proverbs 24:16a says “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again”. I’m not sure how many times I’ve fallen (who’s counting!), but more importantly, I’m still standing.

As such, even though it may feel like I don’t have much to celebrate, since I have only published a relatively small number of posts, contrary to hopes and plans, I have decided to celebrate anyway. To celebrate bouncing back, to celebrate trying again, to celebrate rising again after falling, and to celebrate the lessons the experience taught me.

M.L. King Jr said “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” There may be times I am able to write/publish weekly, and there may be times I am only able to do so monthly. But I hope to keep going.

However, I’ll also amend that slightly to say, if there are times you need to take a break and rest, please do so. If you need to stop and recoup your strength today, so that you can keep moving forward tomorrow, please do so.

Sometimes life hands us so many balls at a time, and we keep catching new ones and juggling them, hoping fervently that none of the balls fall to the floor. But, our arms start aching, pain seeps into our shoulders, our eyes become sore, we start getting dizzy. Before we know what’s happening, all the balls are on the floor, rolling around helter-skelter, and we are left staring in confusion, wondering how it all happened. How did all the balls that were moving in perfect harmony suddenly slip out of our hands? We then wonder why we kept adding new balls to the ‘juggle’, even when we knew we shouldn’t. Now, gathering them together again feels like trying to stuff toothpaste back into a tube.

This is what I’ve learnt – that it’s okay to say no to new balls sometimes. It’s okay to put down some balls for a while, rest our achy, tired arms, and pick them up again later. There will be some balls that we can’t really put down, but there will be some that we can. To paraphrase a popular saying ‘If you don’t choose a ball to drop, life may choose one or more for you’. And you may not like life’s choice.

If you are overwhelmed, and it feels like you can’t drop any of the balls, but at the same time, you know you need to for the sake of your well-being, it may help to pray for direction, and possibly to talk to trusted people in your life. This way, hopefully you know the right balls to drop, and you can take a break. For you are His beloved, and He gives His loved ones rest (Psalm 127:2, NLT).

On the other hand, you may feel like you are ready for some new balls! You’ve had a break, and you’re all fired up and ready to get juggling! Go ahead and catch all the balls God has in store for you. May God guide you along the right path for you.

Or you know you need to get started, but you are finding it hard to. There’s so much uncertainty, doubt, so many what-ifs… What if it’s not successful? What if I don’t have what it takes? I don’t have the answers, but God does. What I have learnt is that God’s definition of success may be different from ours, and if it is successful in His eyes, then it is successful enough for me. Also, if God calls you, He will either equip you with what it takes, or equip the people who will support you. Pray. Take the smallest step you can. And gradually, keep moving.

Either way, I pray that the balls you juggle bring you much joy and fulfilment. I hope that God is beaming at you as He watches you, and that He strengthens you with His powerful, dependable arm.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6, NLT).

Today, I will raise a Hallelujah to God, and a toast (and a slice of cake :-)) to my blog, to all my wonderful readers, to all the amazing cheerleaders who encourage me and correct me, and to my wonderful kids who are still my favourite human teachers as I journey through life. Thank you all so much for the last four years, lull and all! May the lulls be few and far between, and may God bless you and keep you, May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious towards you. May He look on you with favour, and give you peace.*

*Numbers 6:24-26