Well, sometimes I wonder if I’m living in an alternative universe, because I seem to be having the opposite experience with “children of nowadays”.

I was at a park a few months ago, and my 3-year-old decided it would be a good idea to join in a football game with two boys who were much older than him (I would put their ages at about 12/13 years). I was cringing internally and torn between running after him, leading him away with one hand and apologising with one mouth, OR holding off a bit and seeing what will happen. I was 5-10 metres away, so I was unsure if they could see me or not. Well, I held off a bit, and wouldn’t you know, these boys allowed my son to ‘join’ their game, passing the ball to him and letting him “kick” the ball, even though his football skills are (for now) probably worse than mine, and that’s saying a lot.

It was so touching to witness these older boys whom I had probably never met before, choose to act in such a compassionate way towards a little kid. No adult was forcing them to do it. They were under no obligation to do it. As a matter of fact, it would have been completely understandable if they reacted negatively to their game being interrupted. They weren’t going to get a prize for being nice, but they chose to be.

Just a few days ago, I was at another play ground with my kids, and my younger one needed to feed. This meant I couldn’t really play with my 3.5-year-old at that point, so I let him play by himself, watching him from my vantage point on the park bench. At the same play ground were a couple of kids from a school, most likely a secondary school, but they could have also been in their last year of primary school. Two girls from this school took it upon themselves, without being asked, to play with him. They took my son’s hand and led him from one play equipment to another. They were so sweet and gentle with him. I was honestly impressed. Again in this case, I did not know these children.

Aside from these experiences, I’ve heard lots of stories about kids wanting to do good in their society, to make a difference, to help people. And because they probably have not been worn down by the cynicism which adulthood generously dishes out, they seem to be even more determined to effect change than adults.

Now I’m not naive to think/assume that all children are perfect and good and kind etc just because I’ve met or know a couple of such kids. But then on the flip side, should people then be so cynical to think that all (or almost all) kids are badly behaved and ill-mannered just because they have met or known a couple of such kids?

But, I’ve observed a trend of “In my days, kids didn’t act like that”, coupled with a yearning for “the good old days”. I’ve come to realise that we tend to wax lyrical about the past, forgetting the improvements which have happened over the years that have made life easier, while at the same time glossing over the hard times of yesteryear. Is life really better or worse today? Or is it simply a question of us hearing more about the bad things that happen all over the world thanks to the advent of social media? And, if we genuinely believe that things are worse today and times are more difficult, should we not have some compassion for the children that have to grow up in such an environment, rather than complain about them?

The experiences with these lovely kids I’ve had recently have taught me something… to, by the grace of God, raise my children up to be kind and compassionate children. To be the ones that allow the little child interrupt their game and take their time to play with such a child, to be the ones that see a child looking a bit lonely in the play ground and make them feel included, to be the ones that make cynical (and not-so-cynical) adults feel that there is hope for the younger generation. They have also taught me that complaining, or listening to endless complaints about any group of people can skew ones perspective terribly. The truth is that if we ever feel that the generation after us is such a terrible generation, then we have to take responsibility for that outcome, because we raise the next generation, they don’t raise themselves!

And, if we are ever tempted to complain about any generation (or group of people), the first thing to do is to ask ourselves what we have done to make a difference in the lives of that generation and make them better people. If the answer is nothing, then maybe a complaint is not in order. Maybe what’s in order is taking a step to make a difference. This could be as simple as giving a word of encouragement to those who work with or raise the next generation, or going a step further to mentor one young person, especially young persons that are clearly in need of mentoring (Yes, the ones we are most likely to complain about). Psalm 71:18 (ISV) says “Also, when I reach old age and have gray hair, God, do not forsake me, until I have declared your power to this generation and your might to the next one.”

If we all did that (I’m talking to myself as well), then maybe we will start hearing things like “Kids today!”, “Children of nowadays!”; “They are amazing”; “So thoughtful and kind”. And then, even when they are at the helm of affairs in some years to come, we won’t feel a sense of dread and hopelessness, but a sense of confidence and pride in the wonderful, kind hearted, considerate next generation we all played a role in raising. Plus, it would mean that the world will be a much better place when it’s time for us to enjoy our retirement! (free chocolates for senior citizens anyone? :-))